Why Missions?
I’ve known for a while now that I was called to missions. My first trip was to El Salvador when I was 16. I was the photographer, self-appointed, of course. I passionately captured each day of ministry in this beautiful new country. When I got home and showed everyone the photos, they were moved by the emotion shown so clearly on each face. It was almost as if you could see the Lord changing hearts in the images. The hurt, the pain, the longing, the reconciliation, the joy, the goodness of our shared Father, all on display in the faces of small children and adults alike.
Shortly after, I heard a song by the pop punk icons of 2004, Hawk Nelson, called Shaken. I watched the video over and over; it felt like a punch straight to the gut. The video shows a young guy, bored and complacent, flipping through channels when he sees a commercial about a young girl in another country starving. Everything changed and he was suddenly awakened to the fact that there are real hurting people that need help.
The lyrics said, “I’ve stood alone a thousand times, that’s not the same as being alone. I’ve felt ignored and left behind before, that’s not the same as being disowned. Open my eyes and help me see there’s a world outside of me… the words don’t always come out right and I don’t normally cry, but you didn’t see the look in her eye. I’ve been shaken from my head on down to my toes. Lord use me, take me where You want me to go. I can’t help it; my heart has been replaced with a face. I’m ready, these hands are dedicated to change.”
The video went around showing many people, each holding a photo, the photo that changed it all for them, made it real. These images stuck with me. Sure, we all know that there are starving kids in Africa, that’s nothing new. But like in the video, it’s the photo, the face, and the name of real people, that really shake us. Not numbers, not statistics, but real humans in pain. That day I felt the Lord’s call on my life. I wanted to be the person taking those photos and writing those stories that changed everything for someone. I want people to be reminded that the world is bigger than themselves, that there are real individuals hurting, and that they have the power to help make serious change. I want to do missions work and love on these individuals overseas, then use that ministry of what the Lord is doing in them as a ministry to help those living in the states to see that God is still working in His children. I want the Church to see Him moving mountains and parting seas, then in turn have hope that He will lead them through their valleys as well.
Why Now?
This has been my goal since that day, heck I even got a degree in Global Ministries! Towards the end of my last year at GCU, I started wondering how to get there. It’s the wildest phenomenon to know where the Lord has for you, but absolutely no idea how to get there. I started praying that He would lead me to a ministry. One day, as I was walking back from the library, I heard someone say my name. A friend was sitting on the lawn and called me over. I use the term “friend” loosely (no offense, girl), we really didn’t know each other that well at this point. She didn’t know my story, she didn’t know my aspirations, I’m not even sure if she knew my major. We talked for a minute or two before she told me how surprised she was to see me, because she had been feeling the need to tell me about a ministry.
She explained the World Race, saying that it was a year-long mission trip in which you spend a month in each country. It’s a beautiful ministry where you could be working at a sports camp VBS in Nicaragua one month teaching the Lord’s love through soccer, then the next month you are in Thailand working on a construction project or bringing medical aid to the orphanages. Basically, a whole year of leaving room for the Lord to lead. I was amazed. I became insanely passionate about the idea and prayed constantly that the Lord show me if it was His plan, and if so, that He would make it abundantly clear, leaving no room for doubt. I made a list of reasons why I could never go and prayed about one each day for the next week. Every single day the Lord sent a stranger, a Scripture, a song, or a sermon that spoke directly to the thing that I had been secretly praying about. The Lord silenced all of my doubts one at a time. But, like Gideon, I needed more.
I went to class one morning and was the only one there, I could’ve left, but instead decided to ask my professor his thoughts on all that the Lord was doing (not like me at all, I’m the “get in, get out undetected” kind of student). We talked for a while, he prayed for me, and said it was okay to ask for one more sign. I was standing at the door and almost left a million times, but he would have something else to say or I would have another question. God’s timing is so good. As I walked down the hallway leaving the conversation, I cried out to God, “Lord, no joke, this time for real. Show me that You are leading me in this and I will go, no more questions.” I went out the door, down the stairs, and was immediately met with a gasp. It was about 20 minutes into 9:00 am classes so I was not expecting to see anyone around campus. At the bottom of the stairs was another casual friend. She looked like she was going to cry at the very sight of me. Weird, right?
She began to tell me about how they were sitting in class when the professor paused and said, “Someone needs to hear from God right now”, he made them all pray about who the Lord was leading them to and leave class to pray for a stranger. She said she promptly heard my name and wondered, “Really, God? She’s not exactly a stranger? And You know she stays up late, there’s no way she’s around this early.” But she kept hearing my name and felt the need to stay right there, at the bottom of the stairs. Okay, now we’re both about to cry. I didn’t tell her anything about my trip, just that I had been praying for the Lord to speak to me and hadn’t even said “Amen” yet when I saw her.
I don’t remember the words she prayed, it was something about trusting God’s direction and plans for my life. I forgot the words, but never that feeling, that overwhelming sense of peace. My whole body felt like I had just taken a deep breath. We prayed together and were both overcome with gratitude for how good God is and how intentional He is with every moment of our days. He orchestrated all of it so beautifully, I couldn’t doubt the call after that. But when I prayed over the routes, I felt God shutting doors. I was so confused; He had just made it so clear that I was supposed to go. I heard Him say, “not yet” so I moved back to California and got an office job, always in the back of my mind planning for this trip. I checked the new routes every month and prayed the Lord would show me the one that He had for me. Every day that I wasn’t living out this calling felt like a waste of time.
Eventually, I heard the Lord say that when I saw a primarily Spanish speaking route, I would know it was from Him. Now I knew what I was looking for, but still no new routes for months. Finally, right when I started to question if it was still part of the plan, I saw it, the Pacific Rim route. My heart dropped. It became real. Here it was. The one. After all this time. The fear quickly set in after it became real. For those of you remembering all of the hardships that came from my last trip in Honduras and wonder why I would ever do it again, I had that thought too. Honduras was hard and scary and painful for the next 2 years. But through it all I learned more about God and His goodness and His love, than ever before. I wouldn’t take back that trip, or the 2 years of sickness that followed it, for the world. When I think of that trip, I think of how He protected me, how He healed me, and how He continually gave me all that I needed to get by each day.
I’ve seen the Lord do incredible things and I am overjoyed for the opportunity to be used by Him in these countries. Missions isn’t an excuse to travel or a way to “earn Heaven points”, its love practiced through sacrifice and servanthood and running after God’s own heart. His heart is for His children. Lord, make mine as well.
-K
