I don’t want it anymore

I wrote a spoken word… kinda. Basically just a moody rant by a gal at the end of her rope after a rough night’s sleep. Angsty, overdramatic ramblings of an over it missionary learning to let go of earthly comforts. So yea, here ya go. 

 

I don’t want it.

I don’t want bugs on me while I sleep.

I don’t want to wake up covered in bites.

I don‘t want to be freezing or sticky with sweat in my bed.

I don’t want to be exhausted, doing manual labor on no sleep.

I don’t want the zero personal space or alone time.

I don’t want to be hungry after every meal.

I don’t want it. 

I don’t want the language barrier.

I don’t want to have to think so hard into every word.

I don’t want to be covered in dirt every day.

I don’t want to only have cold showers only twice a week.

I don’t want it. 

It’s too much for me, I’m hungry, dehydrated, and tired. It’s too much for me. 

But I don’t want it to end either. 

I don’t want comfort. 

I don’t want my old life.

I don’t want normalcy.

I don’t want ease.

I don’t want it.

I don’t want complacency or apathy.

I don’t want to be home.

I don’t want to stop learning.

I don’t want to stop dying to self daily.

I don’t want to stop seeing God move in every moment.

I don’t want to stop meeting new people and building deep relationships.

I don’t want it. 

I don’t want to stop being used by Him.

I don’t want to cease being stretched. 

I don’t want to leave His perfect path.

I don’t want to follow my own plan.

It may be too much for me, but never too much for You.

I don’t want to leave.

I don’t want to stop.

I don’t want to be anywhere else.

I don’t want it any other way.

I don’t want it. 

-K