I wrote a spoken word… kinda. Basically just a moody rant by a gal at the end of her rope after a rough night’s sleep. Angsty, overdramatic ramblings of an over it missionary learning to let go of earthly comforts. So yea, here ya go.
I don’t want it.
I don’t want bugs on me while I sleep.
I don’t want to wake up covered in bites.
I don‘t want to be freezing or sticky with sweat in my bed.
I don’t want to be exhausted, doing manual labor on no sleep.
I don’t want the zero personal space or alone time.
I don’t want to be hungry after every meal.
I don’t want it.
I don’t want the language barrier.
I don’t want to have to think so hard into every word.
I don’t want to be covered in dirt every day.
I don’t want to only have cold showers only twice a week.
I don’t want it.
It’s too much for me, I’m hungry, dehydrated, and tired. It’s too much for me.
But I don’t want it to end either.
I don’t want comfort.
I don’t want my old life.
I don’t want normalcy.
I don’t want ease.
I don’t want it.
I don’t want complacency or apathy.
I don’t want to be home.
I don’t want to stop learning.
I don’t want to stop dying to self daily.
I don’t want to stop seeing God move in every moment.
I don’t want to stop meeting new people and building deep relationships.
I don’t want it.
I don’t want to stop being used by Him.
I don’t want to cease being stretched.
I don’t want to leave His perfect path.
I don’t want to follow my own plan.
It may be too much for me, but never too much for You.
I don’t want to leave.
I don’t want to stop.
I don’t want to be anywhere else.
I don’t want it any other way.
I don’t want it.
-K
