The Women Paving the Way

In Guatemala I had the privilege of living with a family in a small home in Mixco. The mother, Glendi, was such a blessing. I was obsessed with her and I told her that often. I have met a lot of incredible people this year, but she is the only one to truly take on the mother role and feel like family the way that she did. She cared so much about each one of us and showed us each in unique ways. She really did feel like our Guatemalan mom. She loved us so well and worked hard to make us part of the family. We have all agreed that Guate was our favorite country to live in, not because the house was super nice or the beds super comfortable, solely because of Glendi. The way that she loved us was something so special, so new. She didn’t speak any English and while I had already been wanting to learn Spanish, she was my true inspiration to start pressing into it more. I wanted to be able to communicate with her, to tell her how much she meant to us, to learn everything I could from her. 

She taught us that love exceeds language barriers. She taught us that love exceeds any man made barrier. Her husband was a pastor, but man, that church would not run without her. Through her kindness, you could see her fierceness. She loved people so well, us, her family, the church members, people on the street, everyone she came in contact with. She had the greatest heart to serve that I have ever seen. Glendi also had a chocolate shop. She made homemade chocolate every day, needless to say our house always smelled incredible. Mixco is known for chocolate making. Most houses in our neighborhood made chocolate by hand. She saved up for a long time to be able to buy the machine needed to make the chocolate. But her goal was not to make money, but to help her community. At any given day, there would be neighbors in the shop making chocolate with her. She bought the machine so that the entire community could use it. Anytime she was making cholocate, someone else was making their own right next to her. She wasn’t worried about them using her materials or taking from her profit as competitors. She was only focused on loving her neighbors, like Jesus said in Mark 12:30-31. She was an example of love on display through selfless acts of service. 

In Honduras I lived on a mountain in my tent with a family that started a church and community center up there. It was a community that had felt deserted after a bad hurricane took out the roads up the mountain. The husband was the pastor and a strong man, but there was no question that Tanya ran the show. She was so strong and at times strong willed. She was a boss. That was without question. We all knew right way.  Right off the bat we saw the tough unbreakable side of her. She got stuff done and ran a tight ship. But the more we got to know her we saw her heart behind everything she did. Tanya created a sewing school for the women in the community to learn a skill for work. She held devotionals and discipled the women during the classes, even teaching them how to read as they went. Coffee is big on the mountain, everyone has coffee plants, everyone makes their own coffee, so Tanya helped the women start a business to sell it in town. They package the bags as they read the Bible together. 

Tanya says that she didn’t have much when she started. She didn’t have money or resources, nothing to give but empty, willing hands. All she had were her hands and as she looked down at her hands wondering what she could give these women, she was reminded of an old recipe she learned as a child that used her hands. She learned how to make banana bread using her hands as measuring cups. Two fingers worth of bananas, one fingers worth of sugar, stuff like that. She recognized that the women on the mountain didn’t have measuring cups or anything, they couldn’t read to follow a recipe had she had one, just a fire to cook over and since bananas are everywhere in Central America, even growing on the mountain for free, she decided it was the perfect discipleship tactic. She would go into the homes of these women, bringing only her empty hands and a Bible (and baking powder since it’s hard to come by naturally on a mountainside). She taught them how to make the bread and memorize the Word. She prayed over families as they ate the bread together. She worked so hard to get to know these women, now feeling like family to all of them. She was an example of tenacity and pushing through every obstacle in the name of discipleship. 

In Costa Rica we lived with an older couple. The wife ran the church, the husband had the farm. In a culture that valued males so highly, she wasn’t afraid to lead an entire congregation. She feels like the obvious choice for this section, but there was a woman that stuck out to me more, Anna Maria. Anna Maria was young, a friend. She worked in the pastor’s house, cooking and cleaning. She had four young sons and, man, I have never seen a cuter family. They loved each other so well. She was quiet, reserved, always in the kitchen alone, smiling whenever we came near, but never really talking to us. When her mother couldn’t watch the boys, they would have to come too. We loved those boys so much. We would be on the ground playing with them while Anna Maria smiled in the doorway, keeping an eye on the stove. 

She was an incredible multitasker, often breastfeeding the baby while cooking us meals with a toddler at her feet. She was such a hard worker, even when the baby got sick and the older one broke out in hives from an allergic reaction, even when her father died and her mother was close next, she still showed up. You could tell she was worried and had a lot on her mind, but she always loved us well. I started hanging out with her in the kitchen more and more. I wanted to know her and make her feel known by us. I became friends with Anna Maria, learning more about her story. She was in an abusive relationship right out of school and after having two sons with him, was pregnant with what she hoped was finally a girl when he knocked her around so bad that she lost the baby. He told her that she was nothing, that she couldn’t survive without him, that no one would hire her, love her, that she wouldn’t be able to support the boys without him. 

One day after being beaten so badly in front of her sons, she decided that enough was enough and got out. She started working in homes, however she could help. She started making her own money, making her own decisions, living her own life. She met her second husband and they had two more boys, they found Jesus and she was hired to work at the pastor’s home. She was so gentle, but you could tell she was fearless. She was so strong, she could handle whatever life threw at her, but did so with such grace and dependence on God. She was a beacon. She thought no man would be able to love her, but oh my goodness, her and her husband are the cutest. I have rarely seen parents love each other so much so clearly in front of their kids. They were obsessed with each other, they looked like high schoolers in their honeymoon phase. Their kids will know that their parents loved each other, those boys will know an example of a Godly man, because of Anna Maria’s decision to give them a better life. She was an example of a quiet, gentle strength, fierce yet graceful.

In Nicaragua we had the opportunity to live with a woman named Katie. Katie was a church administrator in Seattle that took over as the youth pastor to fill in. One day she told the teenagers to research places to go on a mission trip, she left it fully up to them, not out of laziness, out of intentionality. They chose Nicaragua, but Katie was hesitant because she had heard it was pretty dangerous. She didn’t want to go, but she wanted to take the youth where they felt called most, so she agreed. While there, she met a local pastor that had been volunteering for multiple different ministries. She continued taking her youth groups there for years after to aid her new friend, until finally she decided to move her family to this once scary country that she had now fallen in love with. Her husband was later diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. Things would have been a lot easier for them in the states, but still they decided to stay and walk in the call that the Lord had placed on Katie’s life. She didn’t let this new diagnosis stop her, she continued ahead on her own, more passionate than ever about what God was going to do. 

She sat on a soccer field one day with her local friend as he and his wife worked to teach her Spanish. They dreamed together of having a soccer ministry one day, where young men could come to play pick up games and be discipled. She reflected on all she had seen in Nicaragua. She saw locals trying to help the hurting, she saw nonprofits and organizations in need of resources, she saw missionaries from the states coming in and not knowing where to serve. She saw the hurts and needs of the people, she saw poverty and pain. Her heart broke for every need she saw. She couldn’t choose just one ministry. She wanted to serve them all. She claims that her selfish heart wanted to fix every problem by herself, but knew that she couldn’t do it alone. She knew that she needed the body of Christ. She knew that the best way that she could help would be to fill in the gaps by connecting people. She saw the need for a connections guy and decided to become just that. She partnered with her local friend as he introduced her to countless contacts within ministries all over Nicaragua. She began working with ministries to find volunteers and resources. She served through finding people to serve and opportunities for them to serve best. 

She now works with more than 15 ministries all over Nicaragua, partnering however she can, with whatever need they may have. She has lived in Nicaragua for nearly 13 years now and recently finished her latest project of a regulation size soccer field on the plot of land by her house. They even put a door to it on the street so that it is fully open and accessible to the public. The community knows Katie and her local partner, so they all respect the field and the property. They are grateful to finally have a place to play. She said one day she saw a lot of trash left on the field after a game and told the young men that if that happened again she would put a lock on the field. They learned quickly to respect the grounds that she had poured her blood, sweat, and tears into. Every day she connects people to ministries in need. She was an example of serving from the background, regardless of recognition, solely for the good of the ministries, for the good of the Kingdom. 

In Albania I worked at a church that was pretty comfortable. Everyone was middle class, your typical prim and proper Europeans in petticoats, so there didn’t seem to be any dire need for assistance. They told us that they really didn’t need any help, they were in a nice area in a big city, they were pretty much chilling. So they sent us to one of the churches that they helped support. It was a new side of town for us, we hadn’t seen anything like it in Albania so far. It was different, you could sense the poverty and pain in the air. Mothers digging through the dumpsters to find food for her family, kids begging on the streets, drunk fathers passed out on the floor while their children were at home freezing and hungry. There didn’t seem to be a lot of hope in any of their eyes. But then came Fetia. Fetia’s story is what inspired me to write this whole thing. Fetia’s story inspired me in a lot of ways. 

She had dreamed of being a doctor as a child, she got straight A’s in school and studied nonstop to achieve that goal. But when she was 14, her father gave her away to be married. She came home from school one day, excited to get back to studying, when she was given the news. She was shaken. Her dreaming was over. Her soon to be husband was not educated, he didn’t get much schooling at all in his life. It is a strong Muslim culture in Albania, so she was told that if she was more educated than him it would be seen as disrespectful. She didn’t even get to finish high school. She tried to keep attending secretly, but his family threatened to kill her if she did, so her father forbid her from going. She still had a dream of being a doctor, but no way to get there. When she was 16, she had a baby, (Lela is so cool, I love her, she’s my age now, and a good friend). Fetia stayed home to tend to the house and the baby. She was miserable, she knew she was made for more. The new family moved into an apartment that just so happened to be right under that of a doctor. She offered to watch his baby for free if he would give her secret classes at night before her husband got home. He taught her all that he knew over the next few years. She took a certification test without telling her husband and became a certified nurse.

She was a devoted Muslim until she met a woman one day who shared with her John 3:16. She knew all the rules, she memorized all the prayers, but this was the first time she heard about the love part. It was new to her, she was intrigued. She started going to church by herself and after six months, started her own Bible study in her home while her husband was at work. She didn’t know much about how to lead a Bible study, she simply took detailed notes every Sunday on the pastor’s sermon, then recited them back to the women in her community who were not allowed to attend church. She brought countless women to Christ by her intentionality and her drive to be more than what the culture told her she was allowed to be. She even ended up bringing her husband to Christ as well. The Bible study turned into 30 women and 70 children within the first year. She started renting out a room to hold a church service in, trusting that the Lord would provide the resources to sustain it. 

She now has two locations and is even praying about where to open the third. Fetia says, “I am very small in stature, but I have very big visions with God for my community.” When the Operation Christmas Child boxes were stopped at the border and not set to come in until late January, she used the little money she had to get chocolates for the kids. When a mother of 10 came to her door saying they hadn’t eaten in days, Fetia gave them the dinner she had been cooking on the stove and had her own family go without food for the night. She doesn’t have much to give, she didn’t buy them groceries or set them up for the year, she simply gave what she had and what she had was a hot meal she had spent hours on for her husband and daughter. Fetia has now partnered with a nonprofit to get the kids in the community sponsors! I spent my time in Albania writing sponsor letters and social media posts and registering children off the streets to be enrolled in school and a feeding program. Fetia saw a need and knew the Lord would provide a way for it to be met. She always had big plans. She always had big dreams. She always had big faith. She was an example of dreaming with the Lord and trusting Him to bring it all to fruition. 

These women have each been such incredible examples of everything I want to be. They took big steps of faith, knowing that the Lord would provide. They didn’t let their status as women change the way that they answered the call they were given. These cultures were not exactly set up for strong independent women to thrive. But they trusted in the Lord’s plan and pressed into how He saw them over how the culture would. They inspired me every day. They inspired me as a Christian, as a missionary, but mostly as a woman. I’m not a wild, raging “burn your bra in the street”, kind of feminist, but I think women are so stinking cool. I’ve been an athlete my whole life. I’m used to being told boys could do it better. My major in college was mainly men, maybe like 20 of us females out of hundreds. I’m used to being told to “know my place”. As an aspiring missionary I was told I wouldn’t be as effective as a man would or wouldn’t be safe since I’m just a little girl all alone in the big scary world. But coming here to these places, seeing women so fiercely taking on ministry, so bravely walking in the truth that was given over their lives, I can’t help but chuckle. I couldn’t help but think back to little pigtailed Kaley on the school yard laughing at the boys that counted her out on the court. When they judged little Kaley and assumed she couldn’t keep up. I bet that’s how these women felt when they were told of their place in the kitchen, their place in the community, their place in society. I imagine them with a small grin on their faces, instead knowing their place in God and His Kingdom story, shrugging and saying confidently, “If only you knew”. 

I read something one time that I still like to envision when I feel discouraged. When I question my place, I envision all of the women that have gone before me, watching me run the race. I imagine them on the sidelines, Ruth, Rahab, Esther, Deborah, Mary, the other Mary, all of them cheering with smiles and big signs. Rooting for me and reminding me to “never tire of doing what is right” (Galatians 6:9). Reminding me “to run with perseverance the race set before us” (Hebrews 12:1-2). Reminding me that women were written into the Kingdom story for a reason, that God has big plans for them. I picture it like a marathon, when I’m tired and let down by the culture always telling me what I am able to be, there they are along with Glendi, Tanya, Anna Maria, Katie, and Fetia, cheering me on, reminding me that God is equipping me for everything He is calling me to. Reminding me that He doesn’t choose to use people based on their gender. Reminding me to “live a life worthy of the calling I have received”(Ephesians 4:1). Reminding me to simply come to Him with open, willing hands and trust Him to do the rest. 

Thank You, Father, that You love Your daughters, that You have prepared a place for us in Your kingdom story. Thank You for using these women to demonstrate so many beautiful things to me, to their community, to anyone that comes into their paths. Continue strengthening them as they run their race. Continue strengthening us all.

-K