A Lasting Example of How to See People

Dear little girl I babysat when I was 15,

It’s been quite a while since I saw you last, it’s been years. I hope you are doing well. I was thinking of you the other day. The food here in Albania is not my favorite. I recently learned that I love gyros, but before that I wasn’t eating much. I was hungry all the time. Yesterday I was so hungry and just wanted something I knew I would love. Something sweet that reminded me of home. I decided to make your Oreo truffles. My whole team tried them and marveled at the taste. I tried one and was taken back to that day at your house with your mom. I remembered the way she carried herself, her smile, her kindness, her intentionality. I remembered her asking me to babysit super often, not because she needed the help, but so I could have money to buy a homecoming dress. She was always thinking of others before herself. Then I moved in around the corner and was over all the time, always learning something from you guys.

You showed me how to make Oreo truffles and croutons, even homemade caramel apples. You showed me how to play mermaids in the pool and the perfect cheerleader cartwheel (still working on that one). You showed me how to make friendship bracelets and other little girl things, but you and your family showed me so much more than that. You guys showed me how to truly see people. You saw my whole family, but you also saw me, truly saw me. Your mom pressed into me, being an example to me of a Godly friend, wife, mother, woman. Your family discipled me and I’m not even sure if it was on purpose. I’m not even sure if you realized how much I was learning from you all.

Even years later, you guys showed me how to meet hardships with grace. Your family showed me how to be strong even in the face of the scariest thing in the world. You showed us all that God is stronger than cancer, you showed us that was something we could trust in. You showed me how to be a true disciple of Christ. The way you all carried yourselves, so selflessly, so eager to serve, eager to be used by God in whatever He had for you. Sweet girl, you were so little, but I’m sure you know what I’m talking about, you walked in it even as a child. It was so evident, the way that your family served the Lord. It was wholehearted, without reservation, or selfish motive. A beacon of light to everyone in the church. It was everything that young teenage Kaley wanted her family to be in the future. Your mom was so intentional with every person she met. She was known for being a friend. She made people feel genuinely seen, known, appreciated, loved. 

I remembered after you taught me to make truffles, over the next couple years we would randomly surprise each other with them in little baggies at school. I remembered how excited and loved we felt each time, just because the other person had thought of us. As I stood in the kitchen today looking down at my dozen truffles left over, I decided to harness that. I wanted to make people feel like that, the way your family made me feel so often. So I started bagging them up. 

I went to all of the local shops I frequent in my neighborhood here in Tirana. The thrift store where I met my friend Gabriella, the fruit stand by the house with the sweetest old man Yuri, the family owned gyro shop I practically live at these days with Alma, Rita, and Elio, the coffee shop where we do our devotionals where Adrian works, the other fruit stand that has better vegetables with Oldin, even to Ilda, who sells bread out of her house. All over town.

You should have seen their faces. They were beaming from ear to ear. I simply handed it to them and showed them my google translate that said, “A treat for you, my friend. It is an American dessert I made for you. Have a good day.” That’s all, no big sermon or rant. They don’t speak much English, if any at all. I couldn’t have said much. They know I work at the church, they know we are believers from America who have come to help the hurting. We’ve had those conversations before, I didn’t need to tell them any of that again today. That wasn’t the point anyways. It wasn’t about who I am or why I’m here. The point wasn’t to convert them to Christianity or to tell them to turn or burn or whatever. The point was simply to show them the love of Christ, on display through small chocolate treats. 

The goal was to make them feel seen and valued and loved. And, boy, did they ever. I’ve never had so many people squeeze me so tight and kiss both of my cheeks while smiling so big like that before. They would come out from behind the counter to hug me and say a million things rapidly in Albanian that I hope were good. Something as simple as a truffle had the power to show to these people how seen and loved they are. Something as small as showing appreciation for these hard workers, was big enough to make their whole days. As I walked away from each place, I saw their smiles lasting, changing the way they interacted with the next customers in line, changing the narrative for their days and those of the people they interacted with. 

I am so grateful for everything your family has taught me. But I think this was my favorite lesson so far. Your family taught me how to show the love of God through the little things. You taught me how big those little things truly are. I’m writing to you today, not to talk about truffles or Albanian shop owners or any of that, but simply to remind you of the lesson your family taught me ten years ago. To remind you that God can bring big things out of our small things, that He can use even a smile to make someone’s whole day. I haven’t talked to you in years. I don’t know anything about your life these days. But I do know that God wants to use you. He wants to use us all. He just needs our yes. I pray that today we all step into the kind of love and intentionality that your mom walked in so evidently every day.

Thank You, Father, for this family, these shop owners, this reminder. Even when I don’t have much to give, You use it, in a way that only You can. Thank You, that all You need is my yes, teach me how to give it freely, without question, every time. Create in me the kind of faith and love that you put on display through this family. Thank You, for who they are, for who You are, for how I saw You in them.

-K

I didn’t get photos of all of them, because I had to use the translator on my phone, but here are some joyful Albanian faces to brighten your day.